Tuesday, January 4, 2011

New Study Takes on the Shidduch "Crisis"

Disclaimer: some of the language in this post may be new for readers not used to Modern Orthodox vocabulary. Comment anything you don't understand, or for you brave souls, feel free to google away.

There's a recently published YNet article about single, young religious women titled Study: What (Religious) Women Want.

Nothing in this article (or study) seems to be a fascinating chiddush, and I especially love the photo they chose (I'm telling you, it's like John Legend look-alikes haunt me) but I found some parts interesting. I found this quotation particularly good:

"An additional paradox is the conflict between the traditional views on marriage and relationships and the sector's modern views. Today most religious women have an equalitarian view yet at the same time, still have the traditional view with regards to a man's role – from the religious domain and through to the internal management of the household.

"Most religious women still hold with the traditional views that the man must be more than them – taller, more educated, earns more. The problem is that they themselves have advanced and hold key positions. Earn well, have masters and doctorate degrees. These two conflicting views must live together under one roof, and they don't have a clear message."

Definitely truth to that. Obviously, I'm neither saying that this correlates at all to the shidduch "crisis,"[1] nor that this is only true to the Orthodox community. But there is truth in this. [2]

[1] The fact that I use the term doesn't mean I actually think there is a crisis, in case the quotation marks don't make it clear.

[2] Although I hate the xtranormal videos, some parts of this video shows this problem in the young, successful black community. (Feel free to stop watching at around 2:00 in; they use language some may find inappropriate.)

1 comment:

  1. It's funny--"crisis" has a negative connotation but I think the fact that frum girls are more educated and worldly than ever is a really positive thing. The shidduch "industry" should take this as an opportunity to reflect on what's important in making matches--equality in intellect, similar interests and desires for the future, etc. I think this could be a wonderful opportunity for the Modern Orthodox view on marriage to move forward. Whether or not they will do anything is another issue. Regardless, I can only imagine how stifling a (poorly orchestrated) shidduch marriage could be after earning a PhD and being independent in the world.